Drunk, Vulnerable, and Good Looking
by Morgen86
Summary: My take on the night it all began. The first meeting of the fabulously messy and destructive couple that is Meredith and Derek.


Meredith sighed a small sigh of relief as the crowd began to move towards the door. "Are you sure you don't need a ride?" She looked up, it was the guy with the shaggy brown hair who'd been babbling at her all night. She'd scarcely had a chance to say two words to any of the other interns, he'd been so intent on following her around with those puppy dog eyes, paying for her drinks.

"No, nope…I'm fine," said Meredith. "Bye," she said, giving a general wave to the interns who were spreading out, making their separate ways to their cars. But the shaggy haired boy lingered back, glancing anxiously at her as if he wanted to speak. "What?" she asked, smiling at him as she ran her fingers through her hair, smoothing out the tangles.

"Are you nervous? About tomorrow I mean…I mean, I'm nervous." Meredith frowned, annoyed that just when she got her mind off the enormity of tomorrow and the sheer wall of terror and anxiety built up at the idea of her first day as a real doctor, this guy speaks up and sends that all to crap. "Not that you should be nervous," he stammered, misinterpreting her frown. "It's not that I think you should be worried…you don't look like you wouldn't know what you're doing…not lost, or well…no, you look like a doctor. Well we're not in a hospital now, but I imagine you would if we were in one. I mean you look intelligent…you look very lovely and…" His voice trailed off, and he looked as if he wanted to smack his head against the light post next to them. Meredith smiled again, not really sure how to reply to his stream of words. "So, your car…um, should I walk you to?"

"Oh, no," said Meredith, cutting him off. "I'm good. I'm actually going to go have another drink." She pointed back to the entrance of the bar, the neon green sign casting a glow on her outstretched arm. "You should get some sleep," she continued, anticipating his offer to stay and continue commiserating over their new doctor jitters, which was the very last thing Meredith needed.

"You sure?" he asked anxiously, fumbling about for his car keys.

"Yeah, I'm sure." She grinned, already backing towards the glow of the bar and the warmth within.

"Alright, well I guess I'll see you tomorrow then, for the big day." Meredith nodded, fighting the urge to roll her eyes and stomp immediately back towards the alcohol. "Goodnight Meredith!" he said brightly, his big puppy dog eyes lighting up as he waved.

"Yeah, thanks…" said Meredith softly, realizing she'd forgotten to remember his name. She paused awkwardly for a moment, before uttering a quick "Night!" She turned around quickly to walk back into the bar, and left him standing there in the glow of moonlight and neon, suddenly dwarfed by the hospital looming across the street.

* * *

"Wow," muttered Meredith under her breath as the door closed behind her. The bar seemed bigger now that all the other new interns who'd come to the mixer had left for the night. She looked over at the clock hanging behind the counter. It read 10:05 pm. _It isn't even that late_, thought Meredith as she walked back towards the counter. Her black heeled sandals clicked with each step, and she knew the little black dress she was wearing was the reason the group of guys playing darts had stopped their contest. She looked over her shoulder, smirking at them as she took a seat on the nearest stool. But she fidgeted with the strap on her dress as she did, secretly wishing she could slip under the counter and change into jeans and a sweater. 

"Back so soon?" The large and cheerful bartender had made his way over to her. Meredith nodded, propping her head against her hands. "More of the same?" he asked, referring to the preference for tequila she'd shown earlier that evening. Meredith just nodded again. He watched her take the shot he handed her and down it easily. "You're one of those knock-kneed, nervous, baby interns from across the street," he said, moving to fill another man's order.

"Ha…is it that obvious?" laughed Meredith, "I'll be needing more tequila then." She stared intently down into the now empty glass, wondering just what she was looking for. She wondered if she'd done a stupid thing in coming back to Seattle, a stupid thing in accepting a job at a place that was filled with echoes of her mother. Meredith pushed her hair out of her eyes in a short frustrated gesture, reaching out to grab the next shot before the bartender could even set the glass on the counter. As she swallowed and felt her lips burn, she wondered if maybe she'd started with the stupidity when she decided to become a doctor. _Or maybe it started even farther back _she thought. _Like the day I was born. _Meredith rolled her eyes at the overwhelmingly dramatic tone of her thoughts, trying to force herself to think of other things. But she found herself turning to peer around the hazy confines of the bar, trying to decide if anyone else felt as overwhelmed by the prospect of tomorrow as she did. She wasn't sure how long she sat at the bar, looking up now and then to inform the bartender just how much less nervous she'd become. But she did know her words were a flat out lie. The alcohol alone was failing her. As the bar began to fill up again, and the hum of laughter and voices was almost drowning out the music from the corner radio, Meredith realized she was going to require a better distraction.

* * *

"Well now…that is impressive." Meredith tilted her head at the sound of a new voice, only just noticing that the previously empty bar stool next to her had been taken by a dark haired man. He was pointing at the little pyramid of upturned shot glasses she'd been building. Meredith felt the corner of her mouth twitch up into a smile, and turned to look him up and down. She'd had too many drinks to be subtle. He was tall and almost slender, the sleeves of his burgundy sweater pushed up to his elbows. He was looking steadily back at her with deep blue eyes that seemed very tired. "You're staring at me," he said as he leaned against the counter. 

"No," said Meredith, tilting slightly towards him. "You're staring at me." He laughed then, nodding his head almost sheepishly. Meredith smiled up at him, deciding for herself that she was certainly drunk but that she had also certainly found her distraction. The worry of the hospital had faded away into a silent murmur at the back of her mind. In its place was the familiar comforting swirl of music and laughter and tequila, and somebody gorgeous to look at. "So does that make you a creepy stalker type or more of a desperate, overgrown frat boy?" she asked, spinning a just emptied shot glass absently with her hands.

"Those are my only choices?" A look of mock horror played across his face.

"I'm afraid so. I'm not required to be reasonable when drunk." Meredith looked back over at him, her eyes lingering on his face, the dark stubble of his cheeks, the blue eyes that didn't seem quite as tired anymore.

"Well, I guess I'll go with overgrown frat boy, although I was never even in a frat. This hardly seems fair." He grinned at her before finishing his drink in a quick swallow and ordering another. They sat in silence for a moment, both of them trying to remain casually looking forward. Whether it was the liquor or lust or the moment, Meredith wasn't sure, but her gaze drifted back towards him and their eyes met again. There was an intensity to his eyes and the way he looked at her that made Meredith shiver despite the warmth of the bar. "What's your name?" he asked, the sudden straightforwardness of both his manner and question contrasting sharply with the veiled eyes they were giving each other.

"It's Meredith…" she murmured, the syllables of her name running together as the tequila began to tint her speech slightly. She looked at him inquisitively, raising an eyebrow.

"Derek," he said, giving his name in answer. He smiled at her and she rolled her eyes, smirking into the depths of an emptied shot glass.

"I'll be sure to remember that," she said at last, her voice nearly dipping into sarcasm as she looked down at the substantial pyramid of finished shot glasses, realizing she probably wouldn't.

"Right…" he said slowly, the word rolling off his lips. Meredith wasn't sure if he was agreeing with the statement or the sarcasm. She looked over at him again, shaking her head and laughing. They had shifted in their seats so that they were closer together, and as Meredith laughed her hair tumbled forward, the golden ends skimming lightly over Derek's arm. He sighed, his expression growing suddenly thoughtful as he watched her smile light up her face. She was so completely different from the last woman he'd kissed. His thoughts had been dark and bitter, filled with images of a tall, strikingly beautiful woman. He could still see her sitting up in his bed, tossing her dark, red hair out of her face and laughing at him. But her laughter rang harsh and bitter in his memory, nothing like the voice of the woman beside him now. He looked back at Meredith who was still smiling, at once warm and intoxicating, and he found himself fighting the sudden urge to just grab her and kiss her. "So," he said, remembering that he should be talking. He motioned to the bartender for another refill. "When's…"

"Your turn to be unfair and unreasonable?" Meredith asked, her voice low and lilting so that he had to lean even closer to hear her above the noise of the bar.

"Wait? I'm actually going to get a turn?" he asked, raising an eyebrow as she looked back at the counter, laughing again.

"Does that surprise you?" she grinned, looking over her shoulder at him. Derek shrugged and his smile seemed to turn sheepish again. "Well, I could point out that overgrown frat boys aren't capable of basic reasoning, but you seem convinced you aren't one." She shifted in her seat, her leg brushing against his as she moved. Meredith found her breath catching and her face flushing so rapidly that she felt as if she were back in the eighth grade looking up at her first real crush. Her leg seemed to burn where it had touched his. Derek blinked and looked back at her. As their eyes locked, Meredith found herself thinking his look might be dangerous even if she were sober. Somehow his eyes managed to be smiling at her, questioning her and pulling her irresistibly closer to him all at once.

"Yes," he said softly, again struggling to think of something intelligent to say but finding his gaze drawn unexplainably to her lips.

"So," she paused, trying to collect herself. She reached out and took his half empty glass. "Finish your drink and then I'll let you be unreasonable." But as Meredith pushed the glass towards him, his hand collided with hers. Their grasping fingers, intertwining almost desperately, pulled them to their feet. And suddenly they were both standing up, leaning into each other, bodies barely an inch apart.

"Sounds fair…" he murmured, reaching down to brush a honey colored strand of hair out of her eyes. Meredith shivered and felt herself fall into him, her hand pressed against his chest, destroying the last remaining inch of space between the two of them. And then without another word, crinkled bills were tossed on the counter to pay for their drinks as Meredith grabbed her purse. They went stumbling together out of the bar, barely able to keep from kissing before the door slammed shut, oblivious to the catcalls, cheers and whistles of the other customers.

But as soon as the door closed, Derek pulled her to him, his lips a burning warmth as they found her mouth. They fell against the outside wall of the bar, the bricks of the building pressed hard and cold against Meredith's back as her hips pressed instinctively against Derek. "Lets go," she whispered, motioning towards the parking lot. They walked close together, pausing often to kiss almost sloppily like overeager teenagers, as if unwilling to stop touching. Meredith staggered slightly, realizing she'd drank too much to concentrate on both kissing and walking in heels. She stopped to steady herself, and as she did a small, stubbornly sober part of her mind threatened to pop up and remind her that she was yet again being incredibly stupid. She looked over Derek's shoulder and caught sight of her new job across the street, but before she could process that thought he had kissed her again. She laughed, feeling how her body quivered at his touch, how he was making her feel so wonderfully light and dizzy that she couldn't help but stumble as they tried to make it down the stairs into the parking lot. Suddenly, effortlessly, as if she really had turned as light as she felt, Meredith found herself lifted up into Derek's arms. She quickly wrapped her legs around his waist as they made it safely down the stairs.

He pulled away from Meredith for a second, looking up at her as his eyes crinkled into a smile. Her blonde hair was messy now, glowing like a halo in the lamplight as strands of it fell forward to sweep against his cheek. "Where to?" he asked. Meredith leaned towards him, still laughing as she whispered instructions to her car into his ear.

Meredith's mind was racing, jolting along with her ragged breathing. She knew she should be sound asleep like the other interns, preparing for a little thing called the fucking start of her career. But instead she was in a parking lot with a stranger, and she was pretty sure she was hardly wearing her dress anymore. But Meredith didn't care because after all she had her legs wrapped around him and her fingers entwined in his hair. Besides his lips had found her neck, and she had no idea how he was managing to walk and carry her and make her moan all at the same time. Before she could figure it out, they had reached her car and Meredith slid to the ground, cursing as she rummaged through her purse for her keys. Derek took them from her, and as he bent to fit the key easily into the lock she had been fumbling with, Meredith's attention fell once more on the great looming hospital waiting silently across the street. She stood transfixed, staring helplessly at it until Derek straightened up. He was looking at her, his eyes aglow with an almost desperate light. There was something familiar in his gaze, a hint of loneliness or maybe grief…Meredith couldn't quite place it. But if she had been a bit more sober, she would have realized it was mirrored in her eyes. Instead, she just closed her eyes and pulled him in after her through the open car door, and they blocked out their own worries with their sudden, overwhelming obsession with each other.


End file.
